Self-belief - am I good enough?
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Anna Honeysett- MBACP, Adv.Dip.Hum.Couns, BA.Hons
2nd February, 20170 Comments
I have not been inspired over the last few months to write and whenever I've sat down to do so it has felt like a rather painful task! Why? Most likely because I write well and with ease when it comes from my heart and I believe in the message I am trying to convey.
This subject on self-belief and not feeling good enough is one that is very close to my heart. Some of you won't know that I play the violin and have done since the age of six. I had lessons until I was 14 so I saw the same violin teacher every week for eight years...doing the maths I've worked out I probably spent about 320 hours of my early life and developing years with this person.
As you know, who we spend our time with will either have a good impact or a negative one on us. The problem with my teacher was that, like me, he was a perfectionist and so if I did something well I would never get praise but a stern 'you could do that better.' A vivid memory was feeling elated that I got 89% in my grade three exam only to be asked why wasn't it 90%?
Now I am not telling you this story for sympathy - I am telling you this because I know how it feels to feel not good enough and to constantly be defined by other people's standards and expectations. It has been my experience over time that not believing in oneself and feeling you are falling below par is a world-wide phenomenon. Thinking about it though - wouldn't it be a very different world if we all had just a little bit more self-belief? We each have gifts and talents, some you may have discovered and others may be laying dormant because you don't think you are 'good enough'. The truth is that it's actually not your opinion but someone else's that you have internalised - just like I did with my violin teachers comments.
I want to encourage you to use your gifts and talents - be the best mum you can be, go for that promotion, start that business you've always dreamed of! You are good enough and you have so much to offer.
Now, I don't want to sound like an annoying cheerleader shouting at you from the side lines (not really my style) but I do want to say that you are worth spending time and energy on.
One of the ways you can really grow your confidence and self-belief is by having counselling. It gives you the opportunity to look at what may be holding you back and, like me, putting others voices and opinions where they belong... with them! I am doing what I love now and I wouldn't change it for the world - now it's your turn!
About the author
I am a BACP member working in private practice in Ashford and Faversham. I am experienced and work with a vast range of issues. I have recently run a emotional eating course and an anger management course which have both been successful. I love working with people and seeing them come into freedom through counselling.
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