Rekindle The Magic In Your Relationship ~ Making Love Work
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Anita Jackson
9th June, 2007
It is important to make love work in our relationships. Stay true to yourself, is one of the most important pieces of relationship advice that I would give. You must know what you want. You must know how you want your relationship to be. You must use your imagination, one of your faculties, to find your vision.
In order to ignite the flame in our relationship, we need to know what we want and what we are aiming for in the relationship. We need to stay true to ourselves and not compromise our core self. We can do this by having a vision of what we want our relationship to be like and how we see ourselves and our loved one interacting within the relationship. We must see ourselves being the best we can be at all times. By wanting our relationship to be even better than it is, we continue to learn, grow and improve in order to attain and experience the even better relationship.
I believe we are able to keep our relationship alive and thriving if it is already a good relationship. I also believe we are able to bring our relationship back to life if it is not currently a good one. It is not a matter of being false but more about wanting to be better than you are right now and wanting your relationship to be better than it is right now. This means being open to change, holding the vision of how you want your relationship to be and acting as if it is already that way.
To find out what we want as our vision, we may need to know what we do not want. Most people seem to find it easier to say, “I don’t want ... in my relationship.” However, never focus on what you do not want; otherwise, as both Wallace Wattles and Bob Proctor say, we will get what we do not want. As soon as you know what you do not want you must cast it aside, let it go and turn your mind to what you do want. When I ask clients what they want, quite often they tell me what they do not want. We might spend a little time finding out why they do not want certain things but then I will ask them, “And what is the opposite of that?” Sometimes they may need a little time to think about it but soon they come up with the opposite: what they do want. We always know, but we seem to find it easier to focus on the negative rather than the positive; however, it is imperative that we turn our thoughts to the good things we want. There is always a polar opposite. As I have heard Bob Proctor say many times, whatever goes up must come down and dark moves into light and vice versa. We cannot tell what is good unless we have evil. We cannot get rid of evil but we do not need to focus on it; otherwise, I believe we encourage it. We must always focus on the good in our relationship. There is an interesting little book by Omraam Mikhael Aivanhov, The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, which explains this.
Copyright 2006 - Anita Jackson. All Rights Reserved Worldwide. Reprint Rights: You may reprint this article as long as you leave all the links active, do not edit the article in any way and give author credit.
Related articles from our experts
- Detox the people in your life
Naomi Marston - Reg BACP, Degree in counselling & psychotherapy.9th January, 2017
- 5 signs for couples to seek timely professional help
Helen Rice, Counsellor & Relationship Therapist MA MSc MBACP Relate Certified9th January, 2017
- Codependent relationships
Kate Megase MBACP5th January, 2017
Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.