Reflecting on Counselling
There is a lot to be said for a person that has taken the brave decision to undertake counselling. Those that start therapy frequently face issues or problems in their life that they acknowledge they cannot handle alone; they therefore decide to do something about it, and they commit themselves to finding a counsellor and working with them until the issue is sorted for them. That is a massive thing for anyone to do.
The reality is that most of us have got issues and "stuff" that needs dealing with - including the counsellor. A lot of people will put it to one side and try not to look at it while others will try to deal with it on their own. All of us, however, would benefit massively from just talking about it with someone. It may just take one or a few sessions, or it may take longer. Either way, actually putting words to it and sharing those words with someone who doesn’t know us is like lifting a great big weight off our shoulders.
When you think about it, most people now think nothing of going to the gym and hiring a Personal Trainer. They want to look good and want someone to help them do this in the right way. It is much the same with a Counsellor, although a counsellor focuses on what’s going on inside. The bit on the outside is what everyone sees, so most of us invest loads of money into making it look great. The stuff on the inside is less visible, so we try to ignore it or hide it.
But why should we have to hide it? If we are all carrying around secrets - things we’re ashamed of, things we don’t want others to see - then why do we all play this game of trying to make it all look perfect? I’m not sure, but what I do know is that people would feel a lot lighter and unburdened if they were able to talk to someone confidentially every so often to put things into perspective and to reconnect with themselves.
One way of looking at counselling is to compare it to the stuff in a tumble dryer. All the clothes are the problems and issues that are going round and round, getting hotter and hotter. What counselling enables us to do is take the clothes out one by one, look at them, let them cool down, fold them up tidily and then put them in a neat pile. Eventually the tumble dryer is empty. The clothes still exist, but they have been tidied up and organised properly so that they no longer cause the confusion and headache that they did before.
If you have read this and are wondering whether to see a counsellor, then I urge you to go for it, even if it’s for just one session. You are not tied into anything and you never have to go again if you don’t want to, but one session can be a life-changing and life-enhancing decision.
Related articles from our experts
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Tom KeelyJanuary 16th, 2017
SUSAN STUBBINGS Counsellor, Supervisor, Group facilitator Registered MBACPJanuary 17th, 2017
Andrea Harrn Psychotherapist and Author of The Mood CardsMay 13th, 2011
Imi Lo: Psychotherapist, Art Therapist, Supervisor (MMH,UKCP,HCPC,MBPsS)March 29th, 2015
Keeley Townsend BA (Hons), Ad.Dip.CP with Distinction, MNCS (Acc)December 14th, 2009
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