Pack up your troubles
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Pamela McMaster Dip Therapeutic Counselling MBACP
28th November, 20160 Comments
How often have you thought of running away from it all? That would be the solution, right? Packing up, getting out - a fresh start!
Many have done this. Unfortunately though, once settled in their new life; they experience a repeat of their old problems. How is this possible? Wasn't a fresh start the solution?
Let's look at some fundamental reasons why this rarely works.
Think about your morning routine. If you actually examined it, you may realise that you do the same thing every single morning - even when you have a lie-in. You get up, go to the bathroom, shuffle to the kitchen, fill the kettle/coffee machine, eyes still half closed. Pour preferred beverage. Adjust example to suit. You do this without consciously thinking about it. It has become a habit, a pattern of behaviour.
Most of our patterns and behaviours are deeply buried into the mind long before you can probably even remember. Between the ages of zero to six, you were programmed by all the significant people or influences in your life - parents, teachers, spiritual leaders - t.v etc. Which leads us to:
Hidden scripts are the things we tell ourselves unconsciously - in other words, we're not really aware of them. These could be things like:
- I'm not good enough.
- I'll never be successful.
- I'm too lazy.
- I'm not pretty enough.
- If I had the chances that person had.
- I'm too old.
- Things just don't work out for me.
- I don't know what I want from life.
Your hidden scripts rule your life. They influence all the decisions you make. You may suddenly feel inspired and feel a rush of enthusiasm to achieve something, but not long after that, your hidden scripts will creep in, telling you all the reasons you cannot do it. Suddenly, your doubting yourself and eventually convince yourself that you just can't do it.
I'm sure you're now wondering, with all of these things against you, how can you ever achieve or reach the life you really want. Is there a point in even trying?
There are ways to look at and change your patterns and hidden scripts. By examining what you believe about yourself, and tracing back to where they came from, we can examine whether that belief is actually true.
For example: Are you really not good enough, or is that something you heard someone tell you as a child? Maybe someone who didn't have confidence in themselves and felt it was easier to put you down.
Our beliefs can be explored, examined and replaced with beliefs that now suit the 'true' person that we are. Our lifestyle can be changed to such a degree, that we will find ourselves happy where we are, not feeling like we want to 'run away from it all'.
Take a look at some of your own beliefs; examine them carefully and change the ones that no longer serve you. This may be easier with professional help, but changing your beliefs will change your life.
About the author
Pamela McMaster is a psychotherapist who works in both the private and volunteer sector. With a diploma in therapeutic counselling. Pamela enjoys helping people find their 'true' selves by examining their lives both past and present. Pamela also enjoys reading and studying self-development and is currently training as a life coach.
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