Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Laura Rutlidge MBACP
13th January, 20150 Comments
What is low self-esteem?
Low self-esteem is often developed in childhood, however there are times in adult-hood where low self-esteem may be developed. Self-esteem problems in adults can sometimes be caused by your partner. If your partner constantly criticises you, undermines your decisions or laughs at you rather than with you when you make a mistake; this can result in the lowering of your self-esteem. Sometimes your partner may not be aware of the effect of their actions, at other times it can be used by a partner as a means of control and may be classed as emotional abuse.
How low self-esteem affects us
Negative, self-critical - I'm so stupid, I'm worthless, It's my fault, I'm a failure, I'm not good enough, I'm incompetent.
Try hard to please others.
Become defensive when we believe we're being criticised.
Under-achieve or work harder to compensate and cover up our believed incompetence.
Avoid situations and people, including social occasions.
Do not look after or abuse ourselves.
If this is happening to you, it is important to seek help or support from family and friends. Counselling can also help you with deal with these issues. You and your counsellor can work together to help re-build your self-esteem and provide support to help you make any changes you feel are needed in your life.
About the author
I speak from experience - I developed low self-esteem as a child and then found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship as an adult. Without the support of my friends and my counsellor, I would never have had the strength to make the changes necessary in my life. I am now a qualified counsellor, helping people in similar situations.
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