Living with low self-esteem
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Jacqueline Fernandez MA MBACP
1st April, 20160 Comments
Do you have thoughts of feeling incompetent and worthless? Feeling not good enough and always negative?
The way you talk to yourself in your head is a very powerful tool.
Low self-esteem ignores the positive parts of ourselves. This creates difficulty to live up to other people's expectations and / or to your own expectations. It's a vicious cycle of convincing yourself you're not good enough.
How you speak to yourself in your head is paramount when increasing your self-esteem. Be kind to yourself and create good habits whether that is saying something positive about yourself every morning or paying close attention when you are feeling good about yourself. Take notice of what you achieve and how you feel on a good day, even the small things.
If mentally applauding yourself is hard, try using other tools such as affirmation cards, post it notes or using a diary. Making things visible can be useful.
Low self-esteem can link to early childhood - hearing that you are not good enough by parents, teachers or bullies at school. Social media can also play on our insecurities, creating in our heads a false sense of what we should be doing and how we should be.
Counselling can help gain insight into previous interactions with people and traumas may have had an impact on your current self-esteem. Many people who are lacking enthusiasm about life and feel they are merely existing seek counselling. They need help connecting with their inner champion which is the side of you that understands you are good enough. Counselling can help connect self-image (who you actually are) to our ideal self, thus heightening your sense of self-worth.
Counselling is a great space to explore your self-image and your internal and external conflicts. How you talk to yourself in your head can change, it's about breaking bad habits and challenging negative beliefs. It does take a willingness to want to break out of these habits. The therapy room is a non-judgemental space for you to explore into your past and present, hopefully providing a positive insight into how you will view your future.
About the author
Jacqueline Fernandez MA MBACP, based in Newham, East London. MA in Counselling, Graduate Certificate in Counselling Psychology, BSc Psychology
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