'Let go or be dragged'
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Sarah May Thorpe BSC MBACP
21st October, 20130 Comments
What emotional baggage are we carrying around with us day to day?
Considering what we hold onto in life emotionally will dictate whether we stay stuck or keep moving. Holding onto anger, hate, resentment and blame creates a sense of feeling stuck. We will feel weighed down and generally unwell.
We may feel angry at someone not being there for us when we needed them. We may feel angry at parents, children or peers for not being there when we needed them. We may say 'It's their fault I am the way I am!', 'If they weren't like that I'd be different.'
Shedding the responsibility for our behaviour and our own actions onto others means we can stay happily or unhappily where we are. We can convince ourselves that we can do nothing, so this is the way it is.
Taking responsibility for our own actions means we can start to free ourselves from self-deprecation. We can start to live the way we want to live. We can start to let go of all the fears that we have held onto. We can begin changing our own ways towards ourselves and others. We can forgive ourselves and others for not being how we wanted them to be. We can see how life really is and not what we imagined it should be.
At this time we may experience a sense of real loss of a life we had created in our own mind. Our sense of illusion turns into reality. Reality is what we have been hiding away from as it holds some truths about us about our lives. For a while we may feel lost, confused, angry or low. These are natural reactions to the loss of our ideal self or ideal world.
When we start taking action for own lives, we will stop to compare with others or imagine that they are living a better life than us. We will do what is good for us and good for everyone. If you have seen the film, 'American History X', there is a scene where a man is in prison for a racist attack. He is talking to an old teacher of his.
The teacher asks him 'Has anything you've done ever made your life better?'
It is one of the best questions I have ever heard and yet so profoundly simple. I feel the impact of the question is has enormous scope.
When we ask this question, what answers do we discover?
I believe that in letting go of emotional baggage can start to alleviate pain and suffering.
Seeking help through talking therapies such as counselling or support groups can help to make the load lighter and helps take the steps to create a fulfilled life.
Thank you for reading my article.
Related articles from our experts
Amanda Perl MSc Psychotherapist Counsellor MBPsS BACP (Accred) CBT PractitionerOctober 19th, 2017
Rivka MennessonOctober 9th, 2017
Annabelle Hird, MBACPOctober 5th, 2017
Andrea Harrn Psychotherapist and Author of The Mood CardsMay 13th, 2011
Imi Lo: Psychotherapist, Art Therapist, Supervisor (MMH,UKCP,HCPC,MBPsS)March 29th, 2015
Keeley Townsend BA (Hons), Ad.Dip.CP with Distinction, MNCS (Acc)December 14th, 2009
Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.