COUPLES: Namaste and Keep Your Love Alive!
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Priya Tourkow
21st September, 2011
It’s not always easy to keep your love truly alive, physically, emotionally and spiritually? What do I mean by this?
Well, we all know what physical means and before several of you start yelling “SEX”….yes we are talking sex, and we are also talking intimacy, which is all the yummy and lovely little ways of showing your love physically, before we get anywhere near sex. I’m thinking of a few examples like: sweet and slow hugs;(not the kind where you just do them because you ought to, but don’t really notice what you’re doing),stopping and looking into each other’s eyes and gently stroking each others faces; planting lots of tender kisses all over each other's faces; snuggling up close in bed or on the sofa to watch a film together or taking turns to give each other a body massage.
What about emotionally? The key word here has got to be listening. Knowing that your relationship is a safe place to share anything and you will be lovingly heard and received is a wonderful feeling. So many couples think they have intimacy problems, sexual problems, lack of love problems… and so often what it’s all about is the unstable emotional connection that results through the poor quality of listening they give one another. This is, of course, about communication fundamentally and it’s so wired into your emotional feelings, that the best communication skills in the world fall by the wayside, unless there is both safety and willingness to take risks and share your deepest selves. If you can’t share your real self with your beloved, then where can you?
Lastly, spiritually…. many of you may have heard of the sacred art of Tantra, which offers an approach to loving and relating that is about honouring one another: the idea that we regard our special couple time as sacred, that we practise the art of slowing down in our touch, breathing and lovemaking. Couples can use the beautiful gesture of Namaste with one another as a way to create a differentiation between the more ordinary time they spend together and the more peaceful, spacious time, just for themselves.
A Namaste is a gesture of honouring and respect, acknowledging the Divine in each of us. It is made by placing the hands in front of your chest - the heart chakra, with the palms pressed together and fingers pointed upward, then making a slight bow to the other person, while staying in eye contact with them. It can either be in silence, or accompanied by gently speaking the word Namaste to each other.
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