Coping with Christmas and New Year
23rd October, 2009
Christmas looms again, for the children it’s full of excitement, presents and fun, for adults this time presents many more problems and difficulties. If you have experienced changes in your relationship and income, your family or your partners you may struggle at this time of year. It feels as though your whole world has changed – what do you do when everyone around you appears to be making plans and you are wondering how you will cope
Some of the clients I work with are struggling with just this problem; worrying about how they will cope going to Christmas parties alone, or coming to terms with not being invited as they would be the only single one in the group, coming to terms with huge changes no matter what your age.
Christmas can be a time of great fun and happiness, but it can also be a very lonely and tense time, losses feel overwhelming – almost as though you shouldn’t enjoy yourself and feeling that sadness must continue. Human beings need to adjust to changes; we don’t naturally invite them in without a level of fear or anxiety.
So there you are, you have safely negotiated the obstacle course that is Christmas, you take a breath and discover that New Year is racing towards you and here we go again. If Christmas is a nightmare for expectations, then New Year gets the gold medal. What party will you go to, who is doing what, how much is it going to cost and what on earth are you going to wear. It seems that this time of year is about dressing up and putting on the make up; appearance counts and quite often all you want to do is sit down in comfy clothes with a glass of wine, a good movie and get an early night.
Does that sound boring? Maybe it is, but I think it is important for you to consider that New Year is about making resolutions, creating a fresh start to the year and forging ahead with your plans – therefore, in order for you to face this honestly, why do you always feel you have to do what everyone else wants you to do on the eve of these changes? Doesn’t make sense really does it?
When did you stop being able to say “Hang on a minute, yes I could go to a party that is crowded and full of strangers desperately trying to have a great time, getting more and more drunk and waiting for the damn clock to tick to midnight just so I can go home, have a hangover in the morning and wonder why I didn’t just do what I wanted.”
You have to live with your decisions, why aren’t you the one making them?
Well, I have a question for you – Why wait another year to make your own decisions, what stops you stating your needs?
Can I help you with that?
Are you ready to make a change before the New Year that you can be happy with?
I wish you a Happy, Peaceful and Emotionally Healthy Christmas and New Year
Related articles from our experts
Amanda Perl MSc Psychotherapist Counsellor MBPsS BACP (Accred) CBT PractitionerNovember 19th, 2016
Katie Evans BA(hons), Dip., MBACP RegisteredNovember 21st, 2016
Kamila Kaminska Counselling for Individuals and CouplesDecember 1st, 2016
Andrea Harrn Psychotherapist and Author of The Mood CardsMay 13th, 2011
Imi Lo: Psychotherapist, Art Therapist, Supervisor (MMH,UKCP,HCPC,MBPsS)March 29th, 2015
Keeley Townsend BA (Hons), Ad.Dip.CP with Distinction, MNCS (Acc)December 14th, 2009
Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.