Christmas, Couples and Counselling
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Judith Gentry BSc (Hons), Registered MBACP
15th December, 2009
If the title of this short article has caught your eye, it seems likely that you are in the same boat as many people just now –i.e. caught up in anxiety, worry and conflict in a relationship, and heightened at this time of year.
What is it about Christmas that piles pressure on our relationships? Perhaps it is the stereotype of all the things that we “should” do, how we “should" behave and the image of happy relationships, happy households and jingle bells 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week.
Yet the reality can be so far from that. Resentments build up in many ways, for example if one person feels that all the organising, planning and doing is left to them. The most common things couples argue about are money; sex; children; chores and tasks, and these issues come up time and time again.
The rows begin over differences of opinion, and once you are in the row it can be difficult to stop it, particularly if one of you feels too angry to compromise.
If you have visited this website you may be exploring ideas about counselling for a relationship issue. At this time of year (as I write it’s mid December) it can be impossible to find time to see a counsellor before Christmas. Yet you are carrying the weight of your worry around (for more on this see my earlier article published November 18th and called - The Elephant in the room – what colour is yours?).
If this is how life feels to you it can be of considerable help to do something now. One suggestion is to research finding a counsellor who you feel you can work with, and make an appointment for early January. This step in itself can be therapeutic and bring you relief, a bit like the instant relief when you loosen your clothes after an over indulgent Christmas feast!
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