Can we repair after the affair?
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Lorraine Balfe MA MBACP (Accred.) UKRCP Reg.Ind. Counsellor/Psychotherapist
2nd December, 2014
That depends on whether both partners can accept some responsibility for the deterioration of the relationship. An affair is a symptom of an unsatisfactory relationship, at least for one of the individuals.
As devastating as it will be to experience this, the crisis can be the chance to develop an opportunity to repair.
In the book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, he describes five ways to love your partner.
These are through words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch.
If your relationship has drifted and you are the one who had the affair, were you looking to find the language you needed because your relationship had been lacking in the way you needed to be loved?
Once a couple can understand how the affair came to be, they can work through the pain and rebuild using communication to express their needs and work towards loving again.
It will involve change and time to build up trust. Counselling can help with the process to open up communication and express your feelings in a safe way so that each one feels listened to and understood.
About the author
Lorraine Balfe is an integrative counsellor working in private practice in central Stockport.
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