Be the best you can be
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Philip Karahassan MSc -Counsellor & Psychologist - MBACP MBPsS -
27th February, 20150 Comments
Society tells us to always put our best foot forward. We are taught to distance ourselves from the negative aspects of ourselves and there are attributes that make us who we are. Similarly our lives are littered with an abundance of not only good times but also negative events. Both of these have shaped our lives and have had an impact on how we feel and how we deal with certain situations. Again however society teaches us not to dwell on the negative but instead to remember the positive. Now I agree it is important to harness the positive in our lives, but just looking at the positive does not paint the whole picture of who we are or indeed how we sometimes feel. Freud once said that our unconscious was great at keeping negative thoughts out of our conscious mind, but at what detriment? Ever wonder why the same situations keep coming up? Why certain scenarios make you feel a certain way or why you sabotage good things in your life?
All our experiences impact our lives and not looking at or dealing with both the positive and the negative thoughts and feelings (such as anxiety or depression) has an underlying effect on how we act in the world, both consciously and also unconsciously. Some of those negative thoughts and feelings we push to the back of our mind are shaping our external exchanges as well as our internal thoughts and feelings without our knowledge or control, essentially limiting who we are and how happy and content we are able to be.
What’s the alternative?
Psychotherapy aims to bring unconscious thought into the conscious mind, so we can look at and learn why we act and think the way we do and, if needed, look at changing our response to certain situations. This, in turn, gives us a more holistic view of what makes us, us and a stronger connection to the self. I would argue ignorance isn’t bliss and we need to understand the negative so we can fully enjoy the positive in our lives. Enabling us to be conscious of our actions and to be the best we can be.
About the author
I am a Psychotherapist with a private practice in Cavendish Square W1G and the City E1. I also work with the City and East London Bereavement service (Barts NHS trust).
I write on the topic of Technology Addiction and the way it shapes not only others but also ourselves.
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