An invitation to discover who you really are
3rd February, 2009
We are all conditioned by the society we live in and by the way we were raised by our parents, or primary caregivers. Also by people who played a significant role in our early years.
Societies conditioning imparts various messages to us all the time , to varying degrees, about what is deemed to be good and therefore succesful, or bad and therefore what we should avoid at all costs in our lives. Sadly one area where we have been well conditioned by our society, is in the area of supressing certain feelings. The feelings we suppress are mostly connected to being allowed to express vulnerability, which includes fear, need, and of course our biggest suppression , the expression of love, without it having a sexual connotation and this is of course why we often feel depressed or as though we are "not feeling ourselves".
This lack of expressing certain feelings of course, has much wider implications in our society in the monetary value we place on certain professions. People who work in the caring industries, looking after the eldery for example, are paid very poorly for the incredibly vital role they play. We maybe dont recognise their value until it is our parents needing such support. This lack of financial recognition of the caring and nurturing professions predisposes us to see ourselves as succesful, in the eyes of society, only if we achieve work which has a high monetary value and often leaves those who are working in the interest of emotional health and intelligence struggling to pay the bills. Such is the way our society is set up at the moment, but thankfully it is changing slowy and surely.
This imbalance in our society is reflected back to us and through us in our own imbalances. We have been strongly influenced by a faulty value system. We have lost touch with what is vital and life enhancing to us and replaced it with false values that leave us feeling discontented and empty and on a treadmill going in every decreasing circles.
It is time to reflect deeply on the nature of this imbalance and the consequence of living by such values. Have you ever saved and saved to buy a new car or to go on a holiday expecting it to make a big difference to how you feel and the quality of your life, only to feel so hollow after the initial buzz of aquiring that car or returning from that holiday.
For us to thrive and feel like our lives are an exciting adventure, we need to look beyond all we have grow up to believe as a truth. We need to look beyond all the conditioning our parents (even with all their good intentions )and society has made us see life and come to a new way of looking. We are looking through glasses that turn our attention 180 degrees off course and make us look in all the wrong places for our wellbeing and purpose.
Through the process of counselling, incorporating life coaching, we can come to see our lives through new eyes and reconnect (or sometimes connect for the first time) with seeing our lives as exciting journeys of becoming free to be our true selves.
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