Am I good enough?
If I had a penny, yes just 1p for every young person I speak to who tells me they aren’t bright, clever, pretty or nice enough I’d be a very rich woman. It makes my heart weep to hear these beliefs from anyone, particularly the young. So I want to help and if you’re reading this and feel at a low ebb, you know that black hole, then perhaps this will hit a cord and if you’re happy, filled with sunshine and warmth, well you’ll perhaps move on or read this with a friend or loved one in mind.
The first thing to do is look at yourself, go on really analyse yourself for a few minutes and perhaps grab the nearest scrap of paper and a pen.
Question: When did you last hear anything remotely good about yourself?
If you reel off a list of great moments then you’re pretty aware of your environment and you’re providing yourself with some great mood stabilisers, that’s fantastic. If you can’t remember much good and maybe it’s easy to remember the rotten moments and comments easily, well you’re going to feel pretty awful and stuck in negative thoughts about yourself.
What to do then?
Well here’s a simple thought for a chilly morning. Re-tune your day from today. List all the good things that happen to you, all the nice comments you hear. It may be a little difficult at first but this exercise is to raise your self esteem, make you walk upright and really listen out for what’s good about you.
If you aren’t really socializing at the moment perhaps find ways to have some positive communication with someone. Go on, maybe just a hello to the corner shop keeper or someone walking their dog.
Finally the whole point of the exercise is to stick to it, so write your observations daily. When you hear enough good about yourself the next step is to start your own ‘self talk’.
Give it a go...
I am a kind person...Remember the occasion you were told
I am beautiful...Remember being told
I am bright, gentle, a good friend, reliable, intuitive, responsible, dependable and so on...
Are you good enough?
Related articles from our experts
- How we think of ourselves - a cause of low mood and depression
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- Identifying low self-esteem thoughts and behaviours
Claire Black - MSc, BSc, Dip. MBACP17th October, 2016
- The pursuit of high self-esteem: Part 2
Dr Sarah Jane Khalid12th October, 2016
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