Austerity measures self-imposed by a hard-hit middle class are causing many children to ‘lash out in school’, according to charity Crisis Counselling.  

Young people used to regular half-term holidays, after-school clubs and a variety of enrichment activities are feeling noticeably deprived of life’s luxuries since the onset of the UK recession.

As well as pining for the good life, Director Jean Cumming believes divorce and family break-down seriously affect children and play a big part in the increase of disruptive behaviour in schools.

Now families are faced with redundancies and tighter budgets, forcing them to spend more time together in smaller spaces, an inevitable recipe for arguments and increased stresses.

Ms Cumming said: “A lot of them [young people] are physically disruptive. They’re hitting other pupils, striking out at teachers, disrupting classes. They’ve either been excluded or are getting into all sorts of problems. We’re seeing vast numbers of young males who need preventative action to stop them becoming angry teens and then an angry man lashing out at you.”

The number of children seeking treatment from the charity has risen from 500 to 750 and the waiting list for NHS child counselling is now 18-months long in some areas.

Children who can’t access the support they need are likely to develop depression and can in some cases resort to destructive behaviours such as self harm.

To find out how counselling can help young people, please visit our pages on Anger Management, and Child Related Issues. 

View and comment on the original Deadline News article. 

Death has been made cold and clinical by modern society when it should be a personal, quiet celebration of life, says Dr John Sentamu, Archbishop of York.

In this morning’s Telegraph, Dr Sentamu calls for people to ‘look death in the eye’, to stop denying it, fearing it and to stop condemning it to a cold hospital ward.

“In evading one of the most important discussion of our lives we lose sight of the fact that a good death is part of a good life,” he said. “Unless we change our reluctance to talk about dying and plan for the future, we are unlikely to be able to die as we would want with dignity, or to support the dying and the bereaved.”

Most of the 500,000 people who die in the UK every year die in hospital beds rather than in the home with loved ones. By hiding death away, we create a culture that doesn’t know how to deal with it.

Recent euthanasia discussions in the news highlight the medicalised portrayal of assisted suicide. Many experts present the process as cold and uncaring when euthanasia is in fact designed to alleviate suffering and present those effected with an element of much-needed control in a deeply traumatic situation.

One poll found that a third of GPs had never initiated talks with their patients about end-of-life choices and only 35% had ever discussed their own personal death wishes with another person.

The Archbishop believes the nearing of death brings about a certain openness and confidence in a person, which allows one to more easily express how they really feel and what they really mean.

By accepting death and reclaiming it as a part of life and an important family ritual, we can start to prepare ourselves for the future and make strong provisions for care and support when one day we are too vulnerable to care for ourselves. We live in a society in which people depend too heavily on the state for survival. It is important to build close-knit families and to take responsibility for each other. Without this, we lose touch with the compassionate, loving beings that we really are – and really need to be if we are to survive.

If you would like support for the subjects discussed in this article, please visit our Bereavement page and see how a counsellor could help you.

Please feel welcome to leave your thoughts below or alternatively view and comment on the original Telegraph article. 

Compulsive hoarding is officially recognised as a symptom of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), but ‘A Place in the Sun’ presenter Jasmine Harman is on a mission to have it recognised as the separate and serious disorder that it really is.

Ms Harman knows first hand just how traumatic and debilitating compulsive hoarding can be. She grew up in a house crammed so full of worthless items that it was a struggle to get through the front door. BBC programme ‘My Hoarder Mum & Me’ documented Jasmine’s struggle to help a mother who couldn’t bare to let her clutter go, despite living in increasingly dangerous conditions.

Jasmine said: “For years we all thought mum was just messy, lazy and reckless with money. When my youngest brother (then aged 11) was removed from her home when his school insisted that it was not a suitable environment for a child, instead of motivating her to ‘tidy up’ things got even worse.”

A follow-up programme broadcast this week shows Jasmine and her mother attending a counselling session. The 36-year-old realises that it’s going to take more than a spring-clean to help her mother. In one emotional scene, Jasmine listens to her mother explain how she collects items to fill the gap her father left when he died.

The programme also shows Jasmine visiting couple Alan and Marion Burgess, who are going to face prosecution if they don’t clear out the towering piles of junk Alan keeps in both the front and back gardens. Next, she visits extreme hoarder Richard Pout, a man suffering from back and lung problems as a result of the terrible conditions he endures daily. He has to clamber over towering piles of junk and year-old rotting food just to get from one end of his cramped three-bedroom house to the other. Richard struggles to part with any of his belongings, regardless of their value or use. In one clean-up scene, Richard refuses to part with a rusty tin of Sainsbury’s Basics kidney beans.

Compulsive hoarding is a real problem and it needs to be recognised as such. So many hoarders are ignored or dismissed as eccentric, which means they often don’t get the help and support they really need. Prosecution and eviction will not make compulsive hoarding go away.

If you would like to find out more about this problem, how it is caused and how it can be treated, please visit our Compulsive Hoarding page.

View and comment on Jasmine Harman’s BBC Blog.

The Queen has today expressed the importance of putting ‘families at the front of national life’.

In today’s Queen’s Speech to Parliament, Her Majesty announced details of the upcoming Children and Families Bill, set to oversee a major overhaul of family support services across Wales and England.

The Bill includes plans to increase the speed of the adoption process, reducing the time children spend in care to an absolute maximum of six months. The longer children spend in care, the longer they miss out on the stability of a permanent, loving family life. Witholding the care and support children need puts them at a higher risk of developmental problems, something that could be damaging to society in the long-run.

The Queen’s Speech also addressed the issue of broken families, suggesting more legal rights for fathers. The Queen said: “Ministers intend to strengthen the law to ensure children have a relationship with both their parents after family separation, where that is safe, and in the child’s best interests.”

Although these plans have been welcomed by campaigners Fathers for Justice, some lawyers believe that shifting the legislation could do more harm than good.

Support services for young people with special educational needs are also due to be improved. Support currently only extend to children under the age of 16. However, with the new Bill in place, this age could be extended to 25.

These measures are all part of a longer-term attempt to boost the quality of life in Britain. With rapidly growing populations, further economic crises and increasing divorce rates, the need for social cohesion is greater now than ever before – and what better place to start social rejuvination than with your own family?

If you think your family has issues to address together, a counsellor could help. To find out how Family Counselling works and how it might benefit you, please visit our Therapies Page.

View and comment on the original BBC News article. 

The government predicts one quarter of the Welsh population will suffer from mental health problems at some point in their lives.

Now Health Minister Lesley Griffiths has launched a strategy to end stigma surrounding mental health and to ensure vulnerable groups have the support and treatment they need.

The strategy, named ‘Together for Mental Health’ will focus on improving the lives of those suffering from mental health problems by providing the tools for them to live as independently as possible.

People of all ages are expected to benefit from the scheme, which is backed by mental health charity Mind Cymru. They said: “We would want to see the implementation of the strategy and the Mental Health Measure to improve the mental health and wellbeing of people living in Wales.”

Counselling is a valued tool in the treatment of many mental health problems and we would like to invite you to find out more by visiting our Types of Distress section. Counsellors can help with a huge range of problems, from eating disorders and self-esteem issues to Schizophrenia and dementia.

Contact a counsellor directly by using our search tool.

View and comment on the original BBC News article here. 

U.S. researchers at the University of Missouri claim to have identified the two main keys to happiness: 

1. Keep experiencing positive change.

2. Keep enjoying these experiences.

Professor of psychological sciences Kennon Sheldon believes happiness is a ‘never-ending quest’ that peaks during times of positive change and falls again soon after. People who start new relationships, for example, tend to feel happier because they relish the excitement that comes with having a new partner. However, a few weeks down the line the relationship becomes less of a novelty, they stop doing fun things and start wishing their partner was better looking.

Sheldon and his co-workers questioned 481 people about their happiness levels. Six weeks later the same participants were asked to report any positive changes in their lives and six weeks after that their happiness levels were tested again and compared with the original results. The psychologists found that for most people, the boost of happiness didn’t last and happiness levels would drop back to their original state.

Sheldon argues that people get used to the things that initially make them happy, causing their levels to drop back to ‘normal’. Due to varying genetics, everyone has a different state of natural happiness, and this can range from anywhere between sombre and very jolly. His research may be able to help people train themselves to stay at the top of their ‘set-point’ by learning how to maintain the feeling of happiness instead of allowing it to drop.

Sheldon said: “Relying on material purchases to make us happy can lead to a faster rise in aspirations, like an addiction. Hence, many purchases tend to be only quick fixes. Our model suggests ways to reduce the ‘let down’ from those purchases. For example, if you renovate your house, enjoy it and have many happy experiences in the new environment, but don’t compare your new decor to the Joneses’.”

As the saying goes – “happiness isn’t getting what you want, but wanting what you get”.

To find out how a counsellor could help you to boost your happiness levels and even help increase the quality of your life, please visit our Types of Distress pages.

View and comment on the original University of Missouri News article.

The Marriage Foundation reports that babies born to cohabiting parents are more than 10 times more likely to see their parents separate than those born to married couples.

Now High Court Judge Sir Paul Coleridge has launched a campaign to champion the age-old tradition of marriage in Britain.

“Marriage- and family breakdown is one of the most destructive scourges of our time,” he said. ”For that reason, I have, for some years now, been trying to raise the subject whenever I have had the chance to speak publicly on the matter.”

The number of cohabiting couples is expected to rise to 3.7 million by 2031, a figure that currently stands at around 2.9 million. Divorce rates in England and Wales increased by nearly 5% in just one year (between 2009 and 2010), taking the figure to around 120,000 divorces per year.

Sir Paul blames unrealistic expectations and an ‘instant gratification’ attitude for the fall of marriage. He believes that the ‘Hollywood approach’ to long-term relationships promotes an unrealistic image of what being in a couple involves, forcing people to feel like their own relationships are inadequate in comparison to the whirlwind romances they see on the big screen.

In reality, marriage takes time, practice and patience to work. Sir Paul believes that people today are abandoning ship at the first signs of trouble – a destructive force in an increasingly fragmented and unhappy society.

Couples counselling is a tried and tested method for helping couples who want to work at their relationships. To find out how a counsellor could help you, please visit our Couples Counselling page.

Do you think marriage is important for a healthy, happy society? We would like to welcome you to leave your thoughts in the comments box below.  

View the original BBC News article here. 

Mandy Ireland broke her spine when she was thrown off her horse seventeen years ago. She was paralysed and told that she would never be able to walk again.

“You have two choices,” says the 32 year-old. “You give in or you get on with what you’ve got. There’ve been ups and downs, of course; the ‘why me’s and the anger, because you can’t do things. But then you realise that there’s usually a way round things.

Mandy’s ‘way’ came in the form of Woolfie, a German shepherd dog trained to empty the washing machine, open the door, pick up the phone, take items from the supermarket shelf, hand Mandy’s purse to the cashier and carry bulky items home, such as toilet rolls and kitchen towels. The clever canine has also learnt to help Mandy undress and provides a sturdy haunch to lean on when she gets out of her wheelchair and into bed.

Bonnie Bergin, a PhD graduate from California, first came up with the idea for assistance dogs in the 1980s. She realised that as well as helping deaf and blind people, guide dogs could greatly improve the lives of people with other disabilities, including paraplegics and those living with autism and Alzheimer’s.

Bergin’s training techniques have since been learned and applied by trainers across both America and Britain. Today there are around 500 assistance dogs working in the UK – a number that could be significantly increased with more awareness and funding.

The best dogs for the job tend to be either German shepherds, or Labrador-retriever crosses. The dogs are given as puppies to a volunteer known as a ‘puppy socialiser’, who will spend 14 months familiarising them with shops, trains, buses, restaurants and other public places. At 14 months, the puppies are handed back to the charity and trained for 6 months to carry out all of the tasks necessary for caring for a disabled person. After the dog has been matched with a suitable owner, both dog and owner will spend 2 weeks at a residential unit getting to know each other, and the owner will be taught how to handle the dog.

Mandy Ireland believes her dog Woolfie has given her a new lease of life. With Woolfie’s help, she can go outside whenever she likes and do things she could never do by herself. The dog can even sense when she is about to have an asthma attack 15-20 minutes before it happens, and will bark a warning so she knows. “He knows me inside out,” she says.

We believe everyone should have access to the support and guidance they need. Dealing with disability is incredibly difficult, both for the people effected and the people who love and care for them. Our network of counsellors is available to help right now – simply visit our search tool. To read more about caring, please visit our Carers Support page.

View and comment on the original Telegraph article here.  

Parents are helping young children to create Facebook profiles despite breaking the site’s age limits.

This week, children’s Minister Tim Loughton has warned parents to monitor and regulate their children’s internet use more thoroughly. By allowing children to publish personal information and photographs online, parents are potentially – albeit unintentionally – exposing them to online predators.

“We know, and I know from personal experience, the temptations for younger children to set up a Facebook site and get involved with those social media. And I also know that in too many cases they do that aided and abetted by parents,” he said.

The minister’s comments come as MPs urge mobile phone companies to do more to combat ‘sexting’ between young people. Sexting is the act of sending sexually explicit pictures or content to another person’s phone – a common practice between curious teenagers and an increasing source of worry for authorities and parents’ alike.

Many images sent between young people end up circulated in the playground, or worse- on the Internet. Once a photograph is uploaded on the web it can be viewed and downloaded by anyone who finds it.

Parents who create profiles for children under the age of 13 need to be aware of the risks and they need to ensure their children understand that once they press the ‘send’ button, they no longer own or have control over the content of that message. Facebook has a number of security measures in place for young people, including eliminating them from public searches so that their private information can only be viewed by friends. Who children choose to befriend on social networking sites is another matter, and is something parents are responsible for monitoring.

If you or a loved one has been the target of an online predator, whether from bullying or sexual abuse, our network of counsellors is here to provide the necessary support. Visit our page to find out more about abuse, or alternatively search for a counsellor to contact directly. 

View and comment on the original BBC News article here. 

An investigation into cigarette packaging has given Cancer Research UK a ‘chilling insight’ into the power of branding in the tobacco industry. 

Research shows that children aged six to 11 are attracted to the sleek, light, colourful packs of certain cigarette brands without fully understanding the deadly effects of the product inside.

One young child said a packet “reminds me of a Ferrari” and another exclaimed: “yeah, pink, pink, pink!”

Professor Robert West, director of tobacco research at University College London said: “Tobacco companies claim they don’t market their products to children. But the truth is their products are attractive to children. This is about protecting children.”

With increasingly tight restrictions on marketing within the tobacco industry, cigarette brands are relying more on more on the look of their packaging to catch the eyes of potential customers over the counter.

Cancer Research UK organised eight focus groups with 15-year-olds in a bid to find out what kind of packaging the were drawn to. Girls tended to be attracted to brands like Silk Cut and Vogue Superslims because the packets reminded them of perfume, make-up and chocolate. Boys preferred Lambert, Butler and Marlbro Bright Leaf because the packets conveyed popularity, maturity and confidence.

The charity has since launched a prototype suggestion for standard issue cigarette packaging. The pack is olive brown, carries government health warnings and teenagers have described it as ‘boring and smelly’. Professor West believes around 3,000 deaths could be prevented every year if the government agrees to the banning of designer cigarette packaging.

Counselling is an effective tool for giving up smoking. To explore more, please visit our Smoking page. To speak directly to a policy-approved counsellor, please use our search tool. 

View and comment on the original Independent article.