Today Bristol hosts the annual conference for the Girl’s Schools Association (GSA), where discussions are set to take place concerning the standards of modern parenting.

Dr Helen Wright, president of the GSA, said there must be something ‘intensely wrong’ with society if parents are letting their young children wear provocative clothing such as bikinis, mini skirts, high-heels and T-shirts sporting slogans such as ‘Future WAG’.

Dr Wright believes that many of today’s young parents were failed by the education system themselves, and bought up with a distinct lack of respect for their elders and little understanding of how to raise a child.

This, along with commercial pressure from TV, celebrities and advertising, has led to a generation of over-indulged children.

Dr Wright’s comments come just weeks after the incoming head of Ofsted, Sir Michael Wilshaw, warned that a lack of decent parenting skills has forced schools to act as ‘surrogate families’ to some struggling children.

“There are all these images in magazines and TV [and] if you’re bombarded with that, you’re going to think its normal, and actually it’s not. It’s becoming twisted,” said Dr Wright.

The key to improvement lies not in parenting classes, but in the education system. Schools are now under increasing pressure to provide help, guidance and support to those children who need it.

With the governments recent plans to offer free parenting classes across the country, and criticism coming at all angles in light of the recent riots and looting, the pressure to be a ‘good parent’ is higher than ever.

Dr Wright assures us that good parenting is not necessarily instinctive, though it can be learned and achieved with practise and perseverance. You can love your child and still feel unsure about how to dress them, feed them and care for them. The advice is always available if parents wish to take it.

Counsellors can help with parenting issues and help parents decide how best to handle any issues they might have with caring for their children. Please visit our page on Child Related Issues to find out more about how counselling could help you.  

View and comment on the orignal Telegraph article. 

Pioneer Productions are making a 3 part documentary series about the science of love and relationships for the BBC, and are looking for couples to participate.

The series hopes to go inside the body and the brain to explore what is really going on during pivotal moments in our lives, from first relationships through to having children.

Episode 3 will look at the effects of long term relationships and the issues surrounding them. To accurately represent the issues couples may face, Pioneer Productions would like to speak with couples who are experiencing difficulties in their relationships, perhaps physically and emotionally after having children, and are seeking advice or some form of therapy.

If this sounds like something which may be of interest to you, please get in touch with Sam Mortimore for an informal chat to find out more about whats involved.

Office: 0208 748 0888 ext. 232

Mobile: 07731 748 246

Calling does not oblige you to take part in the series.

The series will reflect relationships throughout a lifetime, from first kiss to final farewell and everything else in between. Across the generations, they will explore what it really means to be in love. They want the film to be hopeful, inspiring and celebratory of love in all it’s forms.

The team would like to speak to couples who, despite their difficulty, are trying to work things out and resolve their difficulties. The emphasis of the film will be about the positives of working things through as a couple but also looking at the complexities and difficulties of relationships.

To find out more, please email love@thegardenproductions.tv or call 020 3465 9066 for an informal chat.

Calling does not oblige you to take part in the series.

Relationship charity Relate has reported often seeing a surge in calls throughout the summer holidays from both couples and families whose summer breaks have not quite worked out how they had planned.

According to Relate counsellor, Denise Knowles, a rise in temperature and expectations means the potential for arguments can soar.

“Spending more time together without the usual distractions of work and routine can sometimes expose underlying tensions and this can lead to arguments…even choosing the holiday and getting organised for it can cause disagreements.” She said.

So, whether you are looking after your children or just spending more time with your partner than usual, below are some great summer survival tips from Relate to give you the best possible chance of enjoying a conflict free holiday.

1. Plan days out

Make the most of the long summer days and evenings with your partner and make some plans which you are both prepared to stick to. If money is a problem then take a look online for money off vouchers or opt for something which is low cost like a picnic on the beach.

If you are looking after your children then the pressure of constantly keeping them entertained can be stressful. Instead of getting wound up because nothing you seem to do entertains them for long enough, ask them to prepare a wish list of what they would like to do. This will take the pressure from parents and will give the children responsibility. Make sure you give your children a budget though.

2. Relax

If you can’t afford to go abroad this year and you are taking a week at home then make sure you still treat it as a holiday. Don’t respond to work emails or calls just because you are in the same country. Chill out, laze around, spend time with friends and family and enjoy yourself doing the things you love.

3. Cool off

The summer heat can make us irritable and crabby which could lead to arguements. If you have kids then make sure the paddling pool is filled up so both adults and children can cool off, have a fun filled water fight or even take a cool shower.

4. Be considerate

Make sure you compromise when it comes to choosing what to do during the holidays. You and your family won’t always agree and what may be your ideal day out may not be your elderly grandmothers, your partners or your young child’s. Perhaps each have a day where you choose something you would like to do as this way you will all get the best out of your holiday.

5. Delegate

Make sure everyone is involved in the packing and preparation for your holiday as this will take the pressure off one individual and will make everyone feel like they are making an equal contribution.

6. Get closer

Use the time you have to get close on both a physical and emotional level with your partner.

7. Talk and listen

Communication breakdown and misunderstandings are the route of many a holiday argument so avoid both by always be open with each other and discussing any expectations, concerns etc.

View the original Relate article.

Despite the number of marriages falling and the number of divorces soaring, the age old of tradition of tying the knot still boasts tremendous health benefits.

According to the Office for National Statistics, married couples have a higher life expectancy and are healthier than non married couples. Though the ups and downs of relationships can be a significant source of stress, those who fall in love and stay in love can experience benefits to many areas of their health:

It Increases life expectancy

Professor Andrew Oswald from the University of Warwick believes that the impact of marriage can be just as beneficial as quitting smoking. “Smoking takes on average seven years off a man’s life and marriage gives him an extra seven years.” He said. Marriage has a similarly positive effect on women’s average life expectancy, increasing it by an extra three years.

It reduces stress

A study from the University of Warwick revealed that marriage could help couples to develop healthier habits whilst suppressing bad ones. In addition, numerous studies have also found marriage to be great for lowering blood pressure.

In a study featured in the Annals of Behavioural Medicine, researchers revealed that happily married people had the healthiest blood pressure out of single and the unhappily married.

It brings you happiness

A commitment to making each other happy is what draws many to marriage In the first place so it is good to know it works in the majority of cases. Apparently, married couples are twice as likely to be ‘happy with life’ and less likely to be ‘not too happy’ than single, cohabiting, divorced, separated or widowed individuals.

In addition, those who are married are less likely to suffer from mental health problems, with many studies from around the world finding that mental health improves after marriage and deteriorates after divorce or separation.

It boosts the immune system

Though experts are yet to understand why, in a study of over 65s it was found that participants who were happily married had a higher level of antibodies in the blood than those who were not married, helping them to fight off flu viruses and other bugs.

In addition, a US study also revealed that married people make fewer visits to the doctors and have shorter average stays in hospitals.

Despite the benefits of marriage, all of them will undoubtedly have their ups and downs. If you are struggling to communicate or make your marriage work for whatever reason then counselling can really be of benefit. To find out more please visit our relationship issues fact-sheet for further information about how a counsellor or psychotherapist could help you to overcome the problems in your marriage.

View the original WebMD article.

The Relationships Foundation has released details of a large study revealing that rising levels of debt, poverty and long unsocial working hours means Britain ranks among the worst countries in Europe for families.

The Family Pressure Gauge report found that money worries, poor living conditions and a lack of support from parents all played a part in British families being among the most pressured in Europe, with one in every five families struggling to break even.

Additional significant findings from the report included the following:

-14 per cent of families in the UK are suffering from ‘critical’ debt levels compared to 1 per cent of Swedish, Finnish and Norwegian households.

-Almost one quarter of the average UK working family’s income is spent on childcare costs. This is double the amount french families spend and three times more than German families spend.

-One in seven families use over 40 per cent of their income to pay their rent or mortgage.

-Britain is the second worst country in Europe for giving maternity and paternity leave.

-One in 20 families are living in what is considered to be ‘severe housing deprivation’, overcrowded houses which are in poor condition such as without a toilet. This is a significantly higher amount than in other European countries and is notably 12 times more than in the Netherlands.

The report paints a picture of how British families are coping in comparison to 26 other European countries and is based on the analysis of 25 key factors including pressures of money, parenting, living conditions and work.

The report highlights that very little has been done since the Childhood and Families task force was set up last June and executive director of the Relationships Foundation, Michael Trend, has said that the Government really needs to get its act together on family policy.

If you are struggling to cope with any issues mentioned in the above article then please visit our Types of Distress section where you can find detailed information about the various areas in which counselling and psychotherapy may be able to help you.

View the original Independent article.

Wednesday night at 9pm BBC2 aired Wonderland – the Trouble With Love and Sex, an animated documentary which gives a behind the scenes look into counselling at Relate.

Yesterday night took an intimate look at two couples and a single man as they underwent relationship counselling in a bid to help them resolve their problems.

The documentary was set to the voices of Ian and Mandy – a couple in their thirties experiencing turbulence in their relationship, Dave – a single man who has difficulty forming relationships and Susan and Iain – a couple in their fifties who have children together.

Throughout the one hour programme viewers were able to hear extremely personal thoughts and accounts in an attempt from Relate to give a realistic picture of the counselling process and how it can be of benefit.

According to a BBC News article, 156,000 individuals accessed Relate’s services in 2009/10, with the busiest periods falling on Christmas/New Year and September around the time that children return to school.

Relate figures show that 71 per cent of their clients are seeking relationship counselling, though family counselling is a growing area with 7 per cent of clients now wanting help for their entire family unit.

Wonderland – the Trouble With Love and Sex is now available on BBC iPlayer.

For further information about Relate and their services please visit their website at www.relate.org.uk.

To find out more about couples counselling and counselling for relationship issues please visit our fact-sheets.

According to figures from the Office for National Statistics, the age at which women are now getting married has increased from 29.9 years in 2008 to 30 years in 2009.

The average age at which women and men tie the knot has been gradually creeping up for a period of years now. Back in 1981 when a 20 year old Lady Diana Spencer wed Prince Charles the average age for marriages was just 23.1, a stark contrast to a 29 year old Kate Middleton marrying Prince William and an average marriage age of 30 for women and 32.1 for men.

This research also comes alongside a recent batch of figures which confirm that the number of marriages is at an all time low, with fewer individuals saying their vows in 2009 than in any year since recordings first started in 1895.

Jenny North from counselling charity Relate, said: “A continued fall in marriage rates and numbers is no great shock to Relate, but it is worrying. Research shows us that the aspiration to marry is still high amongst the younger generation of the UK, but fewer and fewer are fulfilling that aspiration.

“There is evidence that couples are setting themselves a ‘to do’ list before getting married – perhaps buying a house, getting the perfect job or buying the dream car. As money gets tighter, these things get harder to achieve, and we could see less couples tying the knot as a result.”

Anastasia de Wall, director of family at the think tank Civitas is also concerned. She commented that even though a larger number of women going to university means that marriage ages would increase, financial insecurity and high unemployment levels mean that many people who want to get married can’t afford to do so.

View the original article.

Becoming obsessed with a social networking site can result in an increased risk of depression in children, say experts.

According to experts from the American Academy of Pediatrics, the act of being shunned and ignored on a social networking site can be more detrimental to a child than if they experienced this treatment from their friends in real life.

The researchers who conducted the study have previously released a set of social media guidelines, explaining that acts such as ‘online harassment’ can have profound psycho-social effects on certain children, with many feeling as though they are involved in a popularity contest to have more ‘friends’ than their peers.

Dr Gwenn O’Keefe is a lead researcher and paediatrician at the American Academy of Pediatrics and has said that social media now interferes with sleep, homework and physical activity among young people today.

‘Parents need to understand these technologies so they can relate to their children’s online world – and comfortably parent in that world,’ she said.

Dr O’Keefe also said that it is difficult to accurately gauge how a child is really feeling through their social networking accounts because users are unable to see their expression and body language which usually provide extra context.

Though social networking sites do of course have their benefits, the guidelines from the American Academy of Paediatrics recommend that teenagers be monitored when frequently using sites such as Facebook and Myspace.

Adolescent medicine specialist Dr Megan Moreno from the University of Wisconsin has spent much time studying online behaviour among college students. She commented that whilst using Facebook can enhance social connections for some young people, it has the opposite effect on those who are prone to depression.

However, despite this she urges parents not to instantly assume that social networking is going to result in depression among their children. Instead she recommends that parents monitor their children’s usage of the internet and keep a close eye on their behaviour and moods.

View the original article.

Work and Pensions Secretary Ian Duncan Smith is keen to implement the programme after the divorce rates in Norway fell for 15 consecutive years after the introduction of a similar ”relationship education programme”.

The programme of ”relationship support” is going to cost an estimated £30 million, and will see British cohabiting partners with children as well as married couples, attend counselling sessions in Sure Start Children’s Centres.

The counselling is intended for those who are going through ”relationship stress”, and will involved advice being given on how to stay together.

Smith has said that the benefits of the initial expenditure will be reaped when severe cuts across the public sector come into play, as research has suggested that the cost to the taxpayer of family breakdown is £24 billion a year. He went onto say that by investing money now, savings can also be made on additional benefits such as tax credits, income support and housing benefits for single parents and their children who are left in financial turmoil after a family break up.

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Information about relationship counselling