Pupils at Wimbledon High School achieve some of the highest grades in the UK- but now they are being taught how to fail.

‘Failure week’ is about teaching young women that failing is an acceptable, normal and healthy part of life. They will learn how to cope with failure through a series of assemblies, workshops and activities, along with hearing stories from parents and tutors revealing their own failures.

Headmistress Heather Hanbury said: “Fear of failing can be really crippling and stop the girls doing things they really want to do.”

Overreactions to failure can cause severe anxiety and low self-esteem, which often has negative impacts on other aspects of life.

Ms Hanbury explained that her emphasis as headmistress was to promote resilience and robustness amongst her pupils, in the hope that they would take these important characteristics with them into the working world.

The fear of failing can prevent a person from taking risks, and leave them in a rut. Anxiety can cause a whole host of resulting health problems, including headaches, fatigue, obsessions, insomnia and heart palpitations.

Learning how to cope with failure from a young age could help prevent mental health problems later in life.

Find out more about how counselling can help people suffering from anxiety and low self-esteem by following the links.

View and comment on the original BBC News article. 

A women from Surrey has won over £6m in damages against her plastic surgeon who carried out what the victim described as ”experimental surgery” on her face in 2003.

Successful businesswoman Penny Johnson suffered serious nerve damage in a facelift operation which led to physical and psychological consequences as well as playing a part in her IT consultancy business going into administration.

The operation, which was carried out at Bupa Methley Park Hospital in Leeds now means Mrs Johnson’s face constantly contracts and causes permanent buzzing around her eye due to nerve damage.

The judge said that Mrs Johnson used to be a confident, happy and outstandingly successful women, and ruled that the negligence in surgery had caused serious physical and psychological consequences, resulting in the development of anxiety, depression and issues within her marriage.

The judge added that whilst the marriage survived, Mrs Johnson felt that she was no longer a wife to her husband and was a different person now.

“They no longer go out together as they used regularly to do, and have become detached from the close knit group of friends whose company they used to enjoy”. The judge said.

Understandably, any medical procedure which has not gone as planned can have distressing results. If you are struggling to come to terms with negative effects of an operation and you are feeling anxious and depressed then talking to a counsellor or psychotherapist about your experiences may help you to move forward. If you would like to discuss this matter or any other with a qualified counsellor or psychotherapist in your local area then please use the search tool located on the homepage of this site.

View the original BBC News article.

A fear of natural births among women who are expecting now means that there are twice as many caesareans than there were 30 years ago.

Numerous leading health professionals have expressed concern over the fact that many healthy women are opting to undergo the procedure because they are frightened that natural birth may be traumatic or may have a physical effect on their body.

Not only do caesarean procedures cost the NHS a staggering £2,500 each compared to £750 for a natural birth, but they also put the mother at an increased risk of organ damage and death of their infant.

In a bid to reduce the number of unnecessary c-sections, draft guidelines drawn up by the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE) have recommended that expectant mothers be made aware of c-section risks and also that they be referred to counselling sessions with either a psychologist, psychiatrist or doctor.

NICE hope that the counselling will enable women to overcome their concerns so they can go ahead with a natural birth, however if after the counselling they still feel anxious they will still be able to opt for the c-section if they wish.

Senior policy adviser at the National Childbirth Trust, Elizabeth Duff, said: ‘When a woman’s needs are more complex because of a medical complication, a caesarean section may be necessary’.

‘Referral to a healthcare professional to help address a woman’s fear of childbirth is a good way of providing support and enabling the mother to have a positive experience of birth’. She added.

If you are feeling concerned and anxious about natural birth or any other aspect of pregnancy and would like to talk things through with a qualified counsellor or psychotherapist, please visit the homepage of this site where you can use the search tool to locate a professional in your local area.

View the original Daily Mail article.

A recent study has revealed that social networking sites can make us feel anxious, so why do we keep going back for more?

The study in question asked 200 school children a variety of questions about Facebook and found that 12 per cent of respondents felt anxious about it. When questioned further it was revealed that much of the discomfort caused by social networking sites stems from fear of rejecting another, with 32 per cent of those surveyed admitting that rejecting friends led to feelings of guilt.

According to Dr Richard Graham, a technology addiction consultant, the impact of multiple alerts, pictures and messages can all have a negative impact on our neurology, by making us feel stressed.

Graham has previously helped to set up the Technology Addiction Service at the Capio Nightingale Hospital in a bid to understand more about social networking, texting and gaming addictions.

‘The brain might be trying to adapt but it has a way to go yet, before it might be able to process that level of stimulation’, he said.

There is mounting evidence to suggest that stress, anxiety, difficulty sleeping, inability to concentrate and long term effects on the way the brain develops in young people are all side effects of social networking addictions, though more evidence is needed to confirm these findings.

If you are finding yourself on social networking sites more often than you’d like then continue reading for some useful tips on how to cut down:

No more than 30 minutes per day – Try out Freedom at macfreedom.com which allows you to turn off the internet and not turn it back on again for up to eight hours.

There are lots of similar programmes which offer a similar service. Anti-Social for instance blocks time wasting sites and SelfControl lets you blacklist sites and set a timer for how long you would like to block them for.

Reduce your alerts – Do you really need an alert to let you know about every single birthday of your 500 friends? Probably not. Go into your account settings and turn of the alerts for email notifications.

Delete your apps – If you have an app for every social networking site on your iPhone, Blackberry or Android then get deleting. Nothing on a social networking site is going to be so important that it can’t wait until you sit down at your computer at home.

Deactivate your account – Sounds frightening but sites like Facebook allow you to deactivate your account so people know you’re no longer using it but keep it stored away so you can put it back online in the future.

For information about how counselling and psychotherapy could help you to overcome internet addiction please view our fact-sheet to find out more, or to contact a counsellor or psychotherapist in your local area please use the search tool located on the homepage of this site.

The original article ‘Don’t let your Facebook get you down’ by Octavia Walker is featured in last weekends Sunday Mirror Magazine.

Discrimination and stigma in the workplace can prevent employees with depression from seeking help and can end up costing the economy billions, reports the Independent.

According to a recent survey conducted by mental health charity Mind, a huge number of workers feel that they are unable to discuss their mental health concerns with colleagues or employers.

The Taking care of business campaign which was published yesterday, revealed that 1 in 5 people thought that mentioning their stress levels at work would put them to the top of the redundancy list.

The survey of over 2000 workers also revealed that 41 per cent of the employees surveyed were currently stressed or very stressed in their jobs, 48 per cent were concerned about taking time of work sick and 7 in 10 said their boss wouldn’t help them to cope with stress.

According to the Centre for Mental Health (CMH) last year the financial effects of mental illness in the workplace reached £26bn, an indicator that more needs to be done by employers to prevent workers from falling into a downward spiral of anxiety and depression.

Mind is now campaigning to challenge this stigma in the workplace and wants employers to begin identifying and supporting staff who are struggling with either stress or mental health problems.

Mind spokeswoman Amy Whitlock commented that mental health problems still remain the elephant in the room. ”Poor communication fuels the problem because if your boss or manager doesn’t even ask how you are, how could you possibly approach them about anything more sensitive? There is still a culture of denial which means employees are afraid to speak out because they fear discrimination or being thought of as weak, and employers are afraid to broach the subject in case they make things worse”. She said.

CMH chief executive, Andy Bell has said that the message of openness must come from the top but managers and supervisors are also key to the process as they are the ones who will spot signs of employees under performing. CMH’s new report Managing Presenteeism will show employers how to detect mental health problems early on as well as recommending better support. The report is to be published later this month.

For further information about Mind and their services please visit www.mind.org.uk and for information about counselling for depression, stress , anxiety and career counselling please visit our fact-sheets.

Mental health charity Mind has reported that the prospect of benefits reassessment is causing distress among many individuals with mental health problems who are claiming Incapacity Benefit (IB).

By spring 2014 1.6 million people will have faced a Work Capability Assessment (WCA), the aim of which is to establish whether individuals are eligible for Employment and Support Allowance (ESA), or if they are to be moved onto Jobseekers Allowance which will require them to actively look for work.

These changes to the welfare reform are intended to pinpoint ”the workshy” who are physically and mentally capable of holding down employment. However, Mind are concerned that the current WCA are not fit for purpose and warn that individuals with mental health concerns may get caught in the reassessment cross fire if the creases are not ironed out.

The charity recently conducted a survey of over 300 people with mental health problems receiving IB and found that 87 per cent felt anxious about the reassessment, with one third saying it has led them to increasing their medication.

Additional significant findings included the following:

-95 per cent don’t think they will be believed in their assessment.

-89 per cent believe they will be forced back to work before they are ready.

-78 per cent did not feel well informed about the impending changes.

-75 per cent said that worrying about WCA had worsened their mental health.

-51 per cent said it had made them have suicidal thoughts.

-45 per cent visited their psychiatrist or GP, with 32 per cent having had their medication increased as a result of anxiety over WCA.

WCA was first introduced back in 2008 for all new ESA claimants. Since it’s implementation, 40 per cent of those declared ‘fit for work’ have appealed against their assessment and approximately 40 per cent of those appeals were successful.

Mind consider the WCA to be too rigid to recognise mental health needs and is also concerned that the assessments are conducted by people who have little to no mental health training. Furthermore, the focus of WCA seems to be to root out ‘benefits scroungers’, despite IB having a very low fraud rate of 0.5 per cent.

Mind Chief Executive, Paul Farmer, said:

”We believe that the welfare system should support everyone – with dignity – who is unable to work or requires additional support because of a mental health problem. If someone is able to return to work, there should be personalised assistance and support to help them do so. As things stand though we remain extremely concerned about the mass reassessment of people on incapacity benefits, as despite some changes to the process it still lacks the sensitivity to understand conditions such as mental health problems.”

View the original article.

Debt, in-laws you can’t get along with, stepchildren that make life difficult and the winter blues are just a few of the obstacles which can leave you feeling a little more Scrooge than the bringer of Christmas cheer.

Psychotherapist and clinical advisor to Counselling Directory, Jules McClean has been talking to the Daily Mail about how to best tackle certain dilemmas so you can still have the happiest Christmas possible.

Dilemma one: My parents treat me like I’m a teenager

I’m spending Christmas at my parents’ house with my husband and children. As soon as I get there, I know I’ll feel like a 14-year-old again, though I’m 42. It takes only a look from Mum or a tut from Dad, and I feel like screaming. Why does this happen?

Jules: We often revert to being a child as soon as we are with our parents. This ­situation dredges up feelings from when you had no ­independence, and ­your parents felt they were in control. For them to see you as a grown-up, you need to stay in your ‘adult’ persona. They are not going to change their habits, but you can.

Dilemma two: Religious differences

My husband’s family are ­religious and we’re expected to go to Midnight Mass and church on Christmas morning. How can I avoid this without being rude?

Jules: Be assertive, not confrontational. Try saying: ‘I really value your traditions, but I don’t hold the same views, so I’ll stay behind.’ What the other person hears is respect for their rituals and feelings, which helps them to understand your point of view.

Dilemma three: The children have chosen to spend Christmas elsewhere

My daughter has announced that she’s spending Christmas with her boyfriend’s family. I feel like cancelling Christmas, because if it’s just going to be me and my husband, I can’t see the point.

Jules: Do something different this year so you don’t miss your daughter too much — go out for lunch, take a long walk, visit friends. Spend quality holiday time with your husband and then look forward to seeing your daughter in the New Year. If you’re adult about this, she can feel free to do what she feels is right for her. Next year, you may well find that you are together again.

If you would like to view the full article which features additional tips and advice from other industry experts then please click here. In addition, if you would like to contact a counsellor in your local area for confidential advice and support, please visit the homepage where you can use the search tool to locate a qualified professional.

Researchers from the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development have analysed data from an international 2005/2006 study which involved 4,500 pre teens and teenagers.

The participants were asked about feelings of depression, irritability, grouchiness and ability to concentrate and were also asked if they had been hit, called names, shunned or sent negative message via the internet or through their mobile phone and they were also asked if they had done any of these things to someone else.

The team found that cyber victims were more likely to feel isolation or helplessness at the time of the attack which may be related to the fact they may not be able to see or identify their bully.

Bullies who go down the physical and verbal route are more often than not depressed themselves, but researchers found that cyber bully victims reported significantly higher levels of depression than frequent bullies.

Only last year the same team of researchers revealed alarming figures related to bullying, with 20 per cent of all U.S adolescents in schools having been bullied physically at least once in the last two months. In addition to this 51 per cent were bullied socially by being excluded and 13.6 per cent were bullied electronically.

Parents and teachers must realise that cyber bullying is just as harmful and distressing to children and teenagers as physical bullying and in many cases can go unnoticed for a longer period of time. This is a very difficult situation for parents and schools as text messages and internet usage is very difficult to monitor without making your child feeling like you are invading their privacy.

If you’re child has reached an age where they are showing more of an interest in technology and they spend a lot of time submerged in texting or on the computer then it is really worth taking extra notice of their behaviour. If there are any signs of withdrawal, resistance to socialising with friends and you generally feel as though something is not right then you’ve probably hit the nail on the head.

Try and encourage them to open up to you and reassure them that cyber bullying is just as serious an issue as physical and should be tackled before it grows and other symptoms such as depression begin to develop. If the situation has already reached a stage where depression and anxiety are setting in then encouraging a visit to a counsellor where your child will be able to talk and vent to a professional in complete confidence is a great idea. Though we all like to think our children will come to us, it is always good to leave the door open to other options.

For more information on how counselling could help bullying, depression and anxiety please click the appropriate link.

Original article

Forgot to phone your elderly parents this week? Late to pick up your children from school? Missed your sisters birthday? An increasing number of women are finding themselves racked with a constant feeling of guilt as they put pressure on themselves to be the perfect career women, partner, wife, mum, friend etc.

All of this has transformed guilt into a serious issue which is now closely associated with stress, depression and anxiety with implications now seeping into our physical as well as mental health, with a recent U.S study finding that the associated feelings of guilt actually weaken the immune system.

”Just as pleasure reduces stress and enhances your immune system, telling yourself you’re a bad person and living in a constant state of guilt related anxiety will eventually affect your health.”

Dr Dawn Harper of Channel 4′s Embarrassing Bodies

Learn to handle your own guilt
Liz Tucker Co-founder of well-being website www.behappybehealthy.co.uk says that guilt doesn’t always have to be negative and actually helps to make us socially responsible people who try to avoid hurting others.

Much of our guilt comes from a need for approval which we learned as children and when we do break our own moral code instead of self loathing simply decide if you’ve done something wrong, if you did apologise and move on. This advice comes from Psychologist Dr Vince Beger, who also reminds us that guilt is a helpful motivator which can help us review mistakes. ‘Learn to deal with it rationally and effectively and you can learn to change your life for the better’. He says.

The original article can be found in August issue of Zest magazine (Pg 60 ‘Is Guilt The New Stress’)

The audit examined cases of over 18,000 people with incontinence and concluded that many services often did not meet the standards set by the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE).

One in five adults suffer from incontinence, a condition which also results in a whole host of other side effects including ill health, depression and social isolation.

All of the above conditions are treatable in their own right but those with incontinence receive very little help in overcoming them and often suffer in silence.

Tim Harvey, 50, from Berkshire, has been suffering with incontinence for three years and is now a trustee with the Bladder and Bowel Foundation charity.

He explains how he believes it is very difficult for someone who has not suffered with the condition to understand the gravity of the psychological impacts that come alongside the condition and more needs to be done to help sufferers combat this aspect of the condition.

A Department of Health spokeswoman has said ”This audit will be a powerful spur, to enable patients and clinicians to deliver the quality of care patients have a right to expect.”

Original article