In a recent Telegraph interview, ‘Relate’ counsellor Paula Hall explained just how accurate the film is, and how closely the lives of Kay and Arnold mirror the lives of her own clients.
“There’s a very moving scene in which Meryl Streep dresses up seductively but her husband doesn’t notice,” she said. “It’s a moment many of my clients have had, realising they have become invisible to their partners. I see so many couples who are best friends and run a very efficient home, but they no longer see each other in a sexual way.”
After being with someone for a number of decades, it can become difficult to define exactly what is wrong with the relationship. Passion is sacrificed for practicality as couples slip out of love and into life. They stop sharing beds to get round different sleeping patterns – a partner who snores, a partner who steals all the duvet, a partner who likes a soft mattress when they prefer hard – there is nothing very romantic about that.
According to Hall, this was a perfectly normal way of living a few decades ago, but now life expectancy is much longer and couples are no longer willing to tolerate the idea of living another 30 years without any kind of passion or romance. Instead, they are looking for ways to revive the early days of their marriage and it seems they are finding the solution in marriage counselling.
Relationship counsellor and author of self-help book ‘I Love You, But I’m Not in Love With You’ Andrew G Marshall said just a few years ago, clients seeking marriage counselling were rarely over the age of 45.
Today, he is seeing increasing numbers of so dubbed ‘silver-wedding couples’ – couples married for more than two decades who can no longer put up with the boredom and lack of fulfillment.
Couples counselling can help couples rediscover one another and talk about issues they may have ignored or repressed for decades.
To find out more, please visit our Couples Counselling page.
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