Though Lily Allen’s very sad news of a second miscarriage earlier this week is tragic, perhaps it will send a message to women suffering a similar situation that they are not alone.
When a family member or a friend dies, there are people all around you who are sharing in your bereavement. They have usually had a life and so you are able to reminisce about the happy times you have spent together and mourn their loss with others whose lives they have touched.
The loss of a baby however, is usually responded too in a very different way and though the people around you will express their condolences, the baby wasn’t a real person to them and they will soon move on and stop asking you about it, not noticing when you seem quiet and withdrawn on what would have been your next scan or the due date.
To you, your baby was your future and understandably you would have been picturing your life with your newest addition ever since you discovered you were pregnant.
There is no shame in miscarriage and women should feel open to discuss their experience if they wish to. Perhaps if the families who have suffered the trauma of losing a baby continue to talk about it in such a way, those around them who are struggling to cope will feel more confident about asking for support.
If you have suffered the loss of a baby and feel like you need some outside support then it may help you to visit a counsellor. A counsellor will be able to offer confidential support and advice to help you understand and come to terms with what you are going through. If you would like more information about counselling in this area please visit our factsheet here or if you would prefer to discuss the matter with a counsellor directly then please use the search tool located on the homepage to locate a professional in your local area.