Blame it on the parents
It is true that we arrive in this world as a blank canvas and that we learn to communicate with others as a result of our relationship with our first carer. However, blame is not useful and though many parents make mistakes most of them also try their very best. If you are having issues communicating with others then therapy can be a useful tool which makes you more aware and reflective about responses and it gives us a choice about who we want to be.
Talking about yourself is self-indulgent
Yes it is, but seeking to understand ourselves is not and this is where the difference lies.
Ultimately everything comes down to sex
Sexuality is a hugely important aspect of who we are and to understand ourselves we must look at our sexual development and behaviour.
Despite sex playing a part in all relationships this doesn’t mean intercourse but the connection we feel with others. Emotional warmth between to individuals is necessary for emotional growth.
Therapists are mad!
Often therapists have experience so many personal emotional hangups that once they have battled through their own they feel inspired to help others.
It is pricey and time consuming
The cost very much depends on what therapist you choose to see but generally professionals are now offering very reasonable rates and concessions. In terms of time it does cost in the amount of effort you’ll be expected to put in. Your psychotherapist will guide you but certainly won’t do you work for you.
Depression is a chemical imbalance and best treated with medicine
This is correct for many mental illnesses but often psychotherapy can be used alongside to reach the parts that drugs can’t.
Dredging up the past won’t help
If we don’t face the original source of our pain we will never be able to fully resolve it. A small amount of digging will save us from copious amounts of raking.
Psychotherapy is just psychiatry-lite
Psychotherapists are trained to treat the person and not the illness in contrast to a psychiatrist who traditionally treats the disorder. Most psychotherapists will recommend that someone with a mental illness such as bi-polar disorder see’s both. Therapy is not substitute for anti-psychotic medication and psychiatrists and psychotherapists alike encourage working together.
Couch Fiction by Philippa Perry is published by Palgrave Macmillan, £12.99