Moving house can affect children's mental health
Moving house more than three times can have a detrimental effect on children’s’ mental health, reports the Telegraph.
A new study has shown that moving house, and therefore losing contact with friends and being taken away from familiar surroundings, may cause the child to feel they’re being ignored, and can result in suicidal feelings.
The study monitored how many children had committed suicide over a period of 17 years, and found over half of those who took their own life had moved house more than three times.
Ping Qin, the lead author, wrote: “The breakdown of connections with peers, discontinuation of group activities, distress and worries related to the new environment are potentially psychologically distressing events for young children. Frequent exposures to these events can be stressful and confusing and may affect their psychosocial wellbeing, thus increasing their intention toward ending their life if they are unable to cope.
“Children may feel ignored and have no one to communicate with. A suicide attempt may, to some extent, express the need for more attention from their parents.”
June 24th, 2009 at 10:33 am
That is really distressing news! Obviously its important to consider more than just your material goods when moving house.
July 21st, 2009 at 1:42 pm
By the time I was 14 years old my parents had moved house 7 times. I was always the ‘new’ girl at school & by the time I’d made some good friends I was moved again, over and over again. I’m now in my forties & still harbour deep resentment against my parents for putting me through such a disrupted childhood without any consideration for my feelings. I wasn’t asked once about my attitude to yet another house move.
I was close to suicide many times in my teens, taking pills & self-harming and I still suffer from waves of depression when I realise I never had the luxury of living in one place during my formative years.
I now believe my parents have personality disorders as they have continued moving into their seventies – 4 times in the same town! Totally unnecessary, a complete waste of time and loss of tens of thousands of pounds in removal costs & redecoration.
The only good to come out of my lack of secure & happy childhood is that I’m determined never to put my own children though the trauma of moving house constantly. At least they will benefit from my horrible experience.
January 6th, 2010 at 10:42 pm
Hi
I have moved 4 times (maybe 5 soon) in the last nine years. My son has stayed at the same school and maintained contact with school friends, etc. I am married and we have moved to improve – more space, etc. we then sold the houses and the last two places have been rented!
I have been thinking about the potential impact on my son and am worried. Where we live now have rubbish schools and the new place will offer a better solution and surroundings for the next 4 years while we save to eventually buy our own place.
My husband moved a lot as a child and appears normal …
Any views on whether I should stay put or make a final long-term move before settling on home!
February 2nd, 2010 at 8:37 pm
Moving is sressfull experience, so anything that take the pressure off is a good thing.
March 7th, 2011 at 1:37 am
I moved 6 times and went to 5 different schools in the space 10 years between the ages of 10 and 20. I’ve struggled for years with depression and anxiety – it’s only recently that I thought to attribute it to moving a lot when I was younger. The constant upheaval was painful – I’d move, slowly make friends and then have to move again. I learned not to make strong attachments and there’s always a part of me that even now expects any friendships I have to fade after a few years.
The worst part I think was trying to fit in with groups of people that had known each other for years – they were incredibly unreceptive and difficult to fit in with. My self esteem suffered, I thought I was freak or that there was something wrong with me. I went from being a bubbly, confident kid to a quiet, lonely, paranoid teen constantly aware that she wasn’t really liked. In trying to fit in I’d often dumb myself down, listen to music I didn’t like and pretended to be into things I didn’t care about. I lost my sense of self and it’s taken me 3 years at Uni, with easily made friends and constant assurance of my own normality, to regain something of what I was.
August 13th, 2011 at 10:29 pm
I moved three times before age 10, and then 11 times in 5 years, with 8 different schools on two continents. At the time I thought it was normal, and my parents merely thought I turned out a bit introverted. I’ve turned out very self-sufficient, with an IQ around 150, speak several languages, no problems holding good jobs. But although i make casual friendships easily, i also have a hard time forming and maintaining long-term friendships, have never had a long-term relationship, and don’t have a family or kids despite being a good looking man nearing my 40th birthday.
It’s only recently that I’ve put all the pieces together and started looking at how my behaviour changed over the years that I was moving around. I’d agree with the comments about how it changes you – it left me with fairly major social anxiety issues which I’ve only recently started tackling, and a serious lack of trust in people in general. These are all related, and although I am now moving past those issues, I’d advise any parent to take great care with this. I’ve done a little research and it seems some people are affected worse than others – children with a naturally extrovert character are less affected, those who are balanced or tending to introversion more so.
August 24th, 2011 at 5:06 pm
I moved 9 times and changed schools 17 times before graduating high school. It was a result of divorce and my mother always trying to find something better for us. Am I normal? Sure, in almost every area. But I’m more comfortable not having close relationships. I’m great at making friends on the surface, being the new kid feels natural. But it’s hard to get past being the new kid. I want to move on. Even with jobs. As an adult I’ve moved a lot too and am hoping not to do the same thing to my child. I think it’s important to at least have them with the same peers and in the same school system. Of course, if the move will benefit the child more than staying put, then the answer is obvious. I have and will continue to learn to make lasting friendships, but the effects of staying in dangerous neighborhoods could have lasted forever.
February 8th, 2012 at 1:36 pm
I have moved house 14 times in total and i am only 17 years of age i think that it has had good effects on me as i have good communication skills and have become very adaptable and can read people quite well, one of the pers of moving house was having a ned bedroom which always made me excited. the last time i moved house was 2 months ago and i moved in with a friend, i think moving house alot prepared me for this as i realise now that people are going to move house and are going to move away every now and again. i also enjoy packing up and starting fresh.